Today it’s the World Mental Health Day. I didn’t know that until I logged on to Twitter this morning. And to be honest I’m still not that sure what it’s all about. But it would make today a good day to talk about how lonely one can feel when dealing with some kind of mental health issue.
I want to start of by saing that I know that I’m not alone. Not really. I have some amazing people around me that I can talk to about anything. I even have friends that are dealing with stuff similar to my problems. But still there are times when I feel so alone. Times when it feels that no one can possibly understand what it is that I’m going through.
I had a panic attack last night. First one in a pretty long time. I’m not sure what triggered it, but the the combination of forgetting my meds and pms might have been a part of it. No matter what I did I just couldn’t shake it of. I just felt like the lonliest person ever. After a while I woke Mr. A up and cried a bit, and he assured me that I’m not a stupid, usless person without a future.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this post. Mr. A is the best partner I could ever have. And I sometimes feel like one of the luckiest people ever, but still I feel so alone with my fear. Because the fear is all mine. No matter how much anyone wants to help me, the fear is mine to deal with. My biggest fear is fear itself, and I am the only one that can beat it for me.
Today is a good day to talk about the struggles one is facing when dealing with some kind of mental issues. But so is tomorrow. And the day after that. So please, let’s not stop talking about it when today is over. Let’s keep breaking the stigma. Let’s keep fighting the lonelisness. Let’s keep fighting the fear. Even if we all might be alone, with our own fights to fight, let’s keep reminding each other that we are not really alone in this.