Today I want to introduce to you: Ninsky and Mr. Zombie. They are two amigurumis that I made sometime around christmas last year. But more important, they are “living” proof that I actually can do stuff, no matter how bad things seem.
Like I said I made them around christmas last year. At that time my mental health was pretty bad. I was really underweight, I had no idea how to get my life back and I literally thought that I would never, ever be able to do anything, ever again. And I was home alone during the holidays because my anxiety didn’t allow me to go anywhere.
But what does all of that have to do with Ninsky and Mr. Zombie? Not too much actually. It’s just some background. So, over to what this post really is about.
I made Ninsky and Mr Zombie at a time when I thought that I couldn’t do anything. But I made them. I choose the yarn for them, I started them and I finished them. And I remember how great it felt. And now when I look at them they are a great reminder that I can do stuff, even when I think that I can’t.
And tomorrow I plan to do this other thing that I just don’t think that I can do. This thing that I haven’t done in over 18 months. Tomorrow I plan to take the bus to this big mall and do some shopping with Mr. A. And to just think about it makes me scared. The world really scares me, but I also really want to be a part of it again. And tomorrow seem like a good time to start.
And if I fail tomorrow, I will keep trying. I will get there. I’m going to make the decisions in my life, not my anxiety.
Next to me I have the proof that I can do stuff. They are kind of cute. And they are an amazing reminder that I will get through this. One step at the time.