About a week ago I wrote about the blogging slump that I had been in, and I also wrote that I was slowly coming out of it. Except that I wasn’t coming out of it, I just had a good day and really, really hoped for the slump to be over. And it wasn’t just a blogging slump, it was a life slump and I had no energy at all and just cried all the time, got these weird headaches and started to fall asleep in the middle of the day and that’s when I realized that maybe my beloved antidepressants wasn’t helping me anymore. So to make a long story short; I mailed my therapist, got an appointment with both her and my doctor yesterday and now I’m going of the meds I been on since around May last year and after that I will be trying a new kind. I will be taking half of my regular dose for a week and after that I will take that amount every other day for one week and after that I guess I will try some new ones.
Yesterday I didn’t even take my antidepressants but I took my anti-anxiety pills, and we went to the doctor by taxi and then we took the bus home and it all went fine. And then I fell asleep for a while, because the anti-anxiety pills makes me really tired and when I woke up I just couldn’t get myself to take the antidepressants because I just didn’t want to feel like I’ve been feeling for the past month or so. And today I took the half dose just like we agreed on and I’ve been doing really fine.
By fine I mean that I’ve been having more energy that I’ve been having in a really long time. I’ve went to the store with Mr A, I’ve been outside playing with Little Miss I, I had a caffè latte without getting tummy pains and I even made some pilates which I’ve been wanting to do for weeks but haven’t had the energy for. And like I know that it might be mostly the placebo effect that makes me feel this good, that the knowledge that I will be feeling better makes me feel better already but I don’t really care why I have all this energy and love for my life right now, I just care that I have it and I plan to use it well. (And by that I mean I will play with the cats, wear pretty clothes and eat all the candy.)
Right now I’m hoping that I will keep doing this fine while the meds is getting out of my system, and that I will have the energy to take walks and that I will be able to really laugh because that’s something that I’ve been missing and I also really hope to get back into this blogging thing that I love with all of my heart. So until later…