I’ve been really out of my blogging game lately and it have been a while since I posted last time. But I think I’m slowly getting out of this slump that have actually effected my whole life and not only my blogging. Well, something I’ve been wanting to write more about is my mental health because I hope that me talking about it can lead to others daring to open up about what they are going trough and maybe get the help that need and deserve.
The biggest reason that I haven’t been talking about my mental health and my struggles with anxiety in a while now is because it feels weird talking about it when it feels like I ain’t making any real progress. To me it feels like when it comes to mental health everyone want to read about success stories, and well I’m not a success story in any way. I’m just a girl, or woman actually, that have too much anxiety and are trying to learn how to live without her fears taking over. And it’s hard, it’s so hard and I hate it so much but I also hope that sharing bits of it with you all might make it a bit easier.
So like I said, right now it feels like I’m making no progress at all and on top of that I’ve messed up my sleep for the past week. And while the sleep thing don’t worry me that much I’m pretty much stressing out over the fact that I make so little progress when it comes to getting somewhere with the anxiety. And like I know that I need to challenge myself more and do the stuff I’m scared of but it’s really hard. But I’m getting there even if it’s not at the speed I want it to be, but I will get better.
For me one of the worst things about dealing with mental health issues is knowing how much it affects the people around me. Knowing how much my parents worries makes me feel really bad and while I understand that they can’t just stop worrying I really wish that they could. I don’t know why but I feel like such a disappointment at the moment. And when people talk about how strong I am and all I feel is that no, no I’m not strong, I don’t know what I am but I know I’m not a very strong person. I’m just a broken girl doing her best you know.
So… I think that’s it for now and if you’re still with me I want to say thanks for reading. And if you are also dealing with anxiety or so I want you to know that it will get better, I really think it will, but sometimes it just takes time. And I hope to be able to report some progress when it comes to my own struggles soon.