This is my first blog post in almost a week, and I’m writing it because I want you to know what’s been going on in my head lately when it comes to this blog.
For at least a month now I’ve been having this big time blogging crisis. And I’ve been thinking over and over that I’m not sure I want to blog anymore. And that it’s no use to have a blog since I have literally nothing to write about. And then I think this if I’m already have this crisis over my blogging I just should stop doing it. And sometimes I think that my blog is the most boring one ever, and that no matter what I do it will never be good enough. And then I go back to thinking that I’m not sure I want to blog anymore.
And when I think that I don’t want to blog anymore my thoughts usually goes like this.
I’m not sure I want to blog anymore or if I just want to have money.
Except that having a blog does not equals having money. And if you if you have a blog as small as mine it most definitive won’t give you any kind of it. And I’m fine with that. Most of the time at least.
But sometimes I realize how broke I am and how nice it would be to have an income. And since I can’t get a job at the moment growing the blog seems like a great way to get one. And then I realize how hard it would be to do that and then I feel like giving the whole blogging thing up.
I’m not sure I want to blog anymore or if I just want a reason to buy new makeup.
And now some of you will be thinking; Does she really need a reason to buy new makeup?
Well, I guess I do. Because if I didn’t blog it would feel like a total waste of money to buy anything new to my makeup collection. Not because I wouldn’t use it but because almost no one would see me use it. And it’s so weird that I think this way. Because I love makeup so much, and I wear it for me, because of how it makes me feel. But yet buying something new only for my eyes to see would feel like I was wasting my money.
I’m not sure I want to blog anymore or if I just want to wear pretty clothes.
This is pretty much the same as with the makeup. On days when I don’t blog at all I feel so much more like the anxiety suffering unemployed person that I actually am. And when I feel like that I don’t want to get dressed at all. But having a blog and being able to do OOTD posts makes it feel so much easier to get dressed.
And dressing pretty makes me feel pretty and feeling pretty makes me feel better. I might still suffer from a lot of anxiety but dressing up helps me feel a lot less sick from it.
I’m not sure I want to blog anymore but I do know that having a blog is good for me.
Since I started this blog I have started to feel so much more alive and it has really helped me to come out of my depression. So I guess I will stick to it for a little while longer. Even if it’s not all fun and games and piles of makeup.
Because even if I feel put down when almost no one reads my posts, or my OOTD photos don’t turn put the way I want them to, I do love to blog. And I love the blogging community and the feeling of being a part of something even more. And I do love to write, and to take photos, and to this and that and all the other stuff that comes along with having a blog to.
So like I said; I guess I will be around for a little bit longer. Hope that you want to stick around with me.