If this blog was a diary I would write about the fact that I woke Mr. A up this morning by feeding him coffee with a spoon, even though he wanted to stay asleep. And then how I said I was really, really sorry and had forgotten about how early it was, even though I’m not sorry at all and still think that it was a kind of fun thing to do.
If this blog was a diary I would write about how much I want to buy new makeup, even though I know I don’t really need any. And I would also write a word or two about how much I hate makeup shaming in any form.
If this blog was a diary I would write page after page about our cats, about all the things they do and how they always can make me smile. I would write about how cute they are when they are asleep, the sound they make when they really want a treat and how they sometimes bump into things when they’re chasing each other through the apartment. I would also write about how they sometimes drives me crazy but how they still are the cutest things I’ve ever seen.
If this blog was a diary I would write about how I sometimes wish I had another body, with longer legs and less curves. But mostly I would write about how those thoughts never occupies my mind for more than a couple of minutes now days. And I would write about how awesome I feel about being me, in this body that I have and how I wish that more people could feel this way about themselves.
If this blog was a diary I would write about how much I love going to therapy because it feels like having my mind dry cleaned and ironed and folded right again.
If this blog was a diary I would write about the fears I have about the future. How it feels like I will never learn how to be a proper adult, and how terrified I am to never again have an income of my own. I would write about how I sometimes cry at night, feeling that I have wasted my chance of having a good future, even though I didn’t make the choice to become sick.
If this blog was a diary I guess I wouldn’t want you all to read it. But it’s not a diary, it’s my blog. And I love to be able to share my life with you all.