I Don’t Want To Be A Good Blogger.

Hello everyone.
Today I’m going to talk about a part of myself, and my blogging, that I’m not that proud of. You see I’m a really competitive person, I’m a terrible looser and an unbearable winner and I sometimes even sighs loudly when someone answers a question wrong in a game. And the thing is that even if I’m well aware of all of this, and I don’t really want to behave like this because I get that it’s not that fun for the people I play with, I have a really hard time behaving myself.

And lately I’ve come to realise that my competitive side had started to take away my love for blogging. The thing is that I don’t want to be a good blogger. I want to be better.

I Don't Want To Be A Good Blogger.

I’ve always compared myself to other bloggers, I think we all do that to some extent. But lately it have come to a point where nothing I do seem good enough. It’s been like ‘everyone takes better photos than me, or looks so much prettier than me, or have a better design than me, or this or this or that’. If they’re not better than me I just won’t compare myself to them, because it’s like they don’t really count anyway. And then I keep getting frustrated because everyone else is so much better than me. Makes sense, right?

But now back to the fact that I don’t want to be a good blogger. I know I will never be the best, or the prettiest or even have the best photos. But I still don’t want to be good, I want to be better. I know that blogging isn’t a competition but that doesn’t mean that I won’t compete against myself.
And I think that I have come to a point where I have to forgive myself for my competitiveness and just accept that it’s a part of who I am, but that also means that I have to accept the frustration it brings when I don’t feel that I do good enough. And it means that I have to deal with the frustration and not just tuck it away until it becomes to much for me to handle.

I guess I’m just an all or nothing kind of girl. Go big or go home, you know. (Except that I already am at home so that don’t really make any sense.) I want to write 300 blog posts this year. I want to buy even more photo props because they are the best thing about blogging. I want to increase my side views every month. And I want to write about feminism and clothes and other things that matters to me. Yes I’m scared of bloggers burnout, of course I am. But just as in a game I have to gamble to win. I guess that’s just who I am.

XOXO

Follow with

7 Comments

  1. Sometimes I write and once I hit “publish”, I feel almost embarrassed that I put a load of rubbish out there that people will read, and roll their eyes, and promptly dismiss me as yet another “wanna be” of no writer significance. Then I think, hell, the best writers had rubbish some days, and if I come back to a bad post (well they all might be bad posts, but a bad post by my self defined definition), I pick it apart and decide if it is worth editing, or just learn form it, and try and be a bit less crap with the next one.

  2. Great blog Ida….you’re right about one thing we do compare ourselves to others but we must remember we can only be better than we were yesterday and be okay with that. At least your moving forward everyday and not giving up. Keep doing what you do.

  3. I think you are being hard on yourself! You have some great qualities as a blogger (that’s why I keep coming back :-))! Of course there is always room for improvement! If you want my help (opinion) just check my blog and contact me! Keep up the good work!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *